1 Sam 19:1-6 And Saul spake to Jonathan his son, and to all his servants, that they should kill David. 2. But Jonathan Saul’s son delighted much in David: and Jonathan told David, saying, Saul my father seeketh to kill thee: now therefore, I pray thee, take heed to thyself until the morning, and abide in a secret place, and hide thyself: 3.And I will go out and stand beside my father in the field where thou art, and I will commune with my father of thee; and what I see, that I will tell thee.4. And Jonathan spake good of David unto Saul his father, and said unto him, Let not the king sin against his servant, against David; because he hath not sinned against thee, and because his works have been to thee-ward very good: 5. For he did put his life in his hand, and slew the Philistine, and the Lord wrought a great salvation for all Israel: thou sawest it, and didst rejoice: wherefore then wilt thou sin against innocent blood, to slay David without a cause? 6. And Saul hearkened unto the voice of Jonathan: and Saul sware, As the Lord liveth, he shall not be slain.

THE IMPORTANCE OF RELATIONSHIPS

Eccl 4:9-10 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. 10. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

THE UNIQUE FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN

JONATHAN AND DAVID

Jonathan was the son of King Saul
Stories of Goliath, Successful on the Battlefield, Saul killed 1000’s, David his 10,000’s
King Saul jealous, despised David’s popularity
Saul probably didn’t understand the relationship of Jonathan and David
Jonathan defending David, Saul “this man will take your throne”

JONATHAN WAS A “REAL” FRIEND DOES:

Jonathan was willing to lead a life of decreasing significance in order that David might be exalted by God.
A Jonathan friendship is not threatened by competition.

YOUR JONATHAN IS YOUR SECOND SELF

One Philosopher, Cicero said this “The true friend is, so to speak, a second self”

a Jonathan believes in you when no one else does
a Jonathan is loyal even when you make it hard to be loyal
a Jonathan is the first to call in good times or in bad
a Jonathan gives and gives and wants no payment
a Jonathan walks with you in all seasons
a Jonathan won’t let you surrender to your dark side
a Jonathan has seen you transparent, in all your treachery and lechery, and loves you anyway
a Jonathan keeps you in check
a Jonathan grants you grace when you take them for granted
a Jonathan sacrifices himself for you

NOT “BEST,” BUT “TRUE”

Jonathan is not your best friend but a true friend

Proverbs 18:24 There are “friends” who pretend to be friends, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (TLB)

It just depends on where you are in life which “best” is “best”
The Irish defined Jonathan as the anam cara, the “soul friend”; the true friend

ENDANGERED SPECIES

(these types of friendships are so rare, many live life and die without one)

The reason some people never have a Jonathan friendship is because they aren’t willing to be jonathans themselves.

Proverbs 18:24 A man that hath friends must show himself friendly:

If you don’t have a friend like this you need to evaluate what type of friend you are.

3 SYNDROMS/SINDROMES

1) EGOSYSTEM SYNDROME

“What’s in it for me?”

Jealousy, rivalry, greed, distance, indifference poisons true friendship and kills our Jonathans.

Every time he painted a portrait, John Singer Sergeant said he lost a friend.
Gore Vidal has famously admitted, “Every time a friend succeeds, I die a little”.

2) “NO DOWN ELEVATOR” SYNDROME

Most suffer from shallow relationships. Psychologist Dan Montgomery used the image of taking the elevator down to describe deeper levels of trust in relationships.

A) LOBBY FLOOR: FAÇADE
- Small talk is valuable and necessary for meeting new people and doing business with people we don’t know well
B) BASEMENT FLOOR: ACQUAINTANCE
- We reveal some of our private sentiments and opinions
C) SUB-BASEMENT FLOOR: FRIENDSHIP
- We must willingly experience emotional vulnerability
- We look for compatibility, empathy, and mutual trust
D) BOTTOM FLOOR: INTIMACY
- We share the heart’s desires
- We come clean with our dark side

3) “WHAT, ME SACRIFICE?” SYNDROME

Perhaps the truest cost of friendship is our most precious commodity: TIME.

A relationship that requires sacrifice is not well suited to 21^st C life – but sacrifice is the embodiment of a Jonathan relationship.

John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

That is what TRUE friends do…
The greatest act of friendship was Jesus Christ.

This series is loosely based off Leonard Sweet’s book by 11: Indispensable Relationships You Can’t Be Without and the preaching notes of my friend, Shawn Stickler, Lead Pastor of The Pentecostals of Quinte in Belleville, ON. I have also personalized these outlines with my own thoughts and stories.