FAMILY SEMINAR – Apostolic Church – Mt. Vernon, Ohio – January, 2019 — PRESENTERS: David & Bobbi Morehead

E.NGAGE  

• GREETING – Shake hands at the door and welcome each person and have everyone fill out a name tag.  
• INFOBOX – Have participants take a notecard and write ONE BURNING QUESTION about what you would like covered/ addressed in the seminar in a non- threatening confidential way. Place your notecard in the basket.

X.PLORE  

• GOOD THINGS…Tell me something good about anything positive in your life
• 2-2-3 ACTIVITY (20 minutes total) This is a great activity to get spouses REALLY talking to each other. I must admit I was a little uncomfortable with this activity when my wife first showed me this. However, it truly does bring depth to your conversations.

• • TOPIC: What you love about your spouse or the reasons you admire your spouse. 
    • 2 MINUTES the wife speaks and the husband LISTENS with NONVERBAL RESPONSES ONLY. If a person can’t fill two full minutes then you sit in SILENCE.  
    • 2 MINUTES the husband speaks and the wife LISTENS with NONVERBAL RESPONSES ONLY. If a person can’t fill two full minutes then you sit in SILENCE.
    • 3 MINUTES, both spouses talk about what the other spouse values based on what was shared. 

C.OMMUNICATE  

“MOREHEAD MUSTS”
(family non-negotiables)

• 1) NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY. Ephesians 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath. I remember one night where my wife and I were sitting on the staircase outside of our bedroom around 3:30 am. We had been in “deep discussion” but did not want to go to bed angry. It was at that point that I asked Bobbi, “What are we fighting about?” We had been sitting there for hours and totally forgot what we were fighting about. We began to laugh at the situation. We then went to bed laughing. Life is much too short to hang onto things that don’t really matter in the big picture of your family.
• 2) NEVER USE THE “D” WORD AS A BARGAINING CHIP. From the very beginning of our marriage, Bobbi and I agreed to never use the “D” word as leverage. We promised we would never threaten one another with the word divorce. I have counseled with couples that use this as a common practice to manipulate their partner to get what they want by threatening divorce. Most of these couples starting out truly would never consider actually divorcing their mate. However, Matthew 12:36 tells us, “That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.” Idle words are expressions we have no intentions of backing up. When we do use these idle words such as, “I’ll just find another place to live” or “if you think you can find someone better…”, they began to creep into our spirit, and once they are in our spirit anything can happen. The words you use matter. The tone you use with your family matters. The intent of what you say matters. Guard your tongue!
• 3) NO SECRETS (BOBBI HAS ALL MY PASSWORDS). My wife has veto privileges on all of my technology. I am a social media buff. I have numerous accounts that I am active on. My wife, on the other hand, has zero social media accounts. However, she has all of my apps installed on her iPad. She frequently checks all of them. This is not because my wife does not trust me. This is simply a safeguard to protect both of us in this crazy world of technology. A few years ago I received a private message on Facebook from a friend I’ve known for over 20 years. I read the message to my wife and she simply said she was not comfortable with me talking with her via private messenger any longer. I responded to my friends’ email by stating my wife and I will be praying for you. That was the last exchange that I had with that person. I believe that it is imperative that both sides have reasonable veto power and each other’s lives. This is not about obsession jealousy. This is not about power trip issues. It cannot be about personal vendettas. This is about mutual submission! Ephesians 5:21 tells us, “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.” This Godly principal will protect your relationship. 

• 4) FULL POWER TO EXCUSE A JUROR JUST BECAUSE. The right of a peremptory challenge is a right in jury selection for the attorneys to reject a certain number of potential jurors without stating a reason. Based on a “hunch.”  In a marriage, each spouse must have the right to excuse a person based on a hunch or feeling that this person does not feel safe to my family, marriage, etc…  Never abuse this right. But it must exist for a healthy marriage based on trust.  

ACTIVITY: BROWN BAG SPECIAL (10 minutes)

• Take a brown paper bag (Or any other type of paper you would like to use) and write out your families non-negotiables. Have family members share things they feel should make the list. Then agree as a family on your top items. Clearly write out your non-negotiables so everyone is clear on the non-negotiables. You can also frame them and hang them in a notable place.

E.MPOWER    

• Kintsugi (“golden joinery”), also known as Kintsukuroi (“golden repair”), is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum, As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise.
• YOUTUBE VIDEO: Peter Mayer Japanese Bowl

JAPANESE BOWL ACTIVITY (10 minutes)

• For this activity, you simply take the jiffy pot that is given to you along with a marker. You will divide your pot into five or six sections by drawing lines with your marker. These sections will represent the different areas of your life. Then in each section, you will create symbols to represent the most important areas of your life. My wife’s pot – pictured below – has 6 symbols:
  • 1) A cross – Jesus is the most important piece of her life.
  • 2) A Little Person – This represents our Rosie. It is our desire to cultivate her every day. 
  • 3) A Big Person – This represents me, her husband. A strong relationship with your spouse is the foundation for a strong relationship with your family.
  • 4) A Heart – She prays every day for God to give her a heart for others and to show her who to share His love with.
  • 5) A Music Sign – Music is a key element to her daily devotion to God. She wakes up every morning and plays music, reads her Bible and prays.
  • 6) A Smily Face – This represents the joy of the Lord. As she loves to say, “You must train your brain.” Our brains are negative by default, so we have to train our brains and our spirits to cultivate the joy of the Lord.
• JAPANESE BOWL CHALLENGE: Along with your spouse, take a bowl and create 5 to 6 sections. Create symbols in each section to represent the most important areas of your life. 

L.AUNCH (10 minutes)

• ACTIVITY: PRAYER WEB – Everyone will get in a large circle. One participant will share with the group a prayer request that they have and will take a roll of twine, wrap the end of the twine around their hand and toss it to another member. Everyone will share a prayer request while building a “web-like community” in the process. 

RESOURCES & IDEAS

• • RESOURCE: http://www.blueorangegames.com
  • GAMES: Chickyboom, Dr. Eureka, Fastrack, Pengoloo, Double Shutter, Spot it, spell it
  • Have fun — play a game, watch a movie, take a walk, do a mad lib — just hang out!!!!
  • Read the same book so you can talk about it.
  • Remember there is no one right way to be a family or have a marriage. KEEP GOD FIRST and the rest will work out!!!